Lent 2020 marks a decade of either expecting or nursing while pregnant for me, during this penitential season. Over the years I have offered meaningful penances, and have chosen my share of unsuccessful ones! I wanted to share a list of ideas to help those of you in a similar season of life to chose penances that are fruitful and help you grow in virtue during Lent this year.
First, I have had much more success in choosing Lenten practices that work toward eradicating a specific vice. Prayer to Our Lady of Sorrows, as Father Chad Ripperger says, can help us identify our current predominant faults. Prayer to our Guardian Angel is also extremely helpful in examining what areas Our Lord wants us to focus on and root out. WIth more intentional prayer before Lent begins, we are setting ourselves up to choose penances and practices that are productive in our spiritual lives. Second, I strongly encourage you to take on at least five penance commitments! If you are like me, a cradle Catholic who gave up chips, chocolate, or cookies for Lent (even as a young adult, I’m not even talking about when I was 10 years old! Ha!), you’ve left Lent feeling absolutely no shift in your spiritual life. I think that’s because we are to adapt a SPIRIT of penance, to be as aesthetic as we reasonably can, and to choose a dozen more tiny penances during the day. Filling up a glass of water? Skip the ice. Making your favorite coffee? Leave out the cream. About to finish dishes when a small person asks to read a book? Stop with that infuriating three dishes left and go read the book. Take a lukewarm shower, use the hair dryer on cold, wear your most uncomfortable underwear…in a normal day, there are hundreds of small sacrifices we can make. Consecrating each small choice to rooting out that predominant vice will be a giant shift for your spiritual growth during Lent. Third, this is a popular trend I’ve seen on social media in recent years - that of not giving anything up, but adding something in. Adding things in, especially prayer, is necessary for Lent…but it truly can’t replace a penance, a dying to self. Be sure to choose at least one very challenging penance!
While expecting or nursing, our dietary and physical needs are different, and it’s a good idea to run your penance ideas by your confessor. I know in my case, I have been advised that it is okay to choose a different option than avoiding meat on Fridays throughout the year and during Lent. But even though our physical choices reduce some of the most common Lenten penances, there are so many fruitful options!
Ideas to Give Up for Lent:
choose silence: give up music, podcasts, audiobooks, and television
fast from all sweets
drink water only, give up all other drinks
give up social media
give up weighing yourself; put the scale in the attic
fast from pants; commit to only skirts and dresses for all of Lent
fast from make up
fast from variety and novelty; consume the same breakfast or same lunch every single day for the entirety of Lent
commit to no snacking between meals, or moderate intermittent fasting, only eating between 8am to 8pm (be sure to okay these ideas with your care provider and confessor)
make Friday especially austere - no make up, no media, water only
give up shopping; no spending on non-essentials (groceries and household needs only), including browsing websites
commit to a strict early bedtime
Ideas to Add In for Lent:
daily Mass
daily Rosary
daily 15-30 minutes of meditation
spiritual reading; life of Christ, lives of the saints, Scripture
moderate exercise, 100 minutes a week
consume healthy “penance foods” - for my husband that’s cheese and pickles, for me that’s brazil nuts ;-) nothing imprudent, just foods we don’t like to eat!
be generous in hospitality; host dinner, a play date, etc
organize and purge
take on extra chores; perhaps it’s your husband’s job to take out the trash - beat him to it!
add in supplements that you know will benefit your pregnancy and breastfeeding, but don’t make a priority right now (collagen, fish oil, probiotics…again, run these ideas by your care provider)
I am sure I’ve just barely breached the surface of ideas for Lenten practices we as mothers can take advantage of! Please share your ideas too, in the comments!