Recently I shared through Instagram (@littlelightfamily) that we spent a few days at Clear Creek Abbey near Tulsa, Oklahoma, making a family spiritual retreat at the end of May. I had an overwhelming number of questions - it’s like all of us are eager to find Our Lord and take a step out of this current world atmosphere, or something. ;-) Here I hope to give a picture of how our family retreat worked this time, and share how you can make your own family retreat happen with the Benedictine monks at Clear Creek!
We have been visiting Clear Creek for two years; I have been on my own once, my husband and oldest son have been a number of times, and we’ve gone now twice as a family. This visit was our first to stay in the Clear Creek guesthouse as a family (men and boys are able to stay with the monks, women are able to stay at the women’s house, and there is another family-owned property families can utilize if the guesthouse is booked). After my husband and I each had gone for the first time, we decided we would aim to do a family retreat to Clear Creek at least once a year, with a few specific goals in mind. First, we simply love it. Being able to attend the Conventual Low Mass (where each monk priest is offering his daily Mass down in the Crypt after Matins and Lauds, at the same time), to pray the Divine Office along with the monks, to attend daily High Mass, and to fully immerse yourself in Benedictine spirituality are reasons enough to make the retreat. We also have chosen this as our “vacation” style; we aren’t big campers, world travelers, sight-seers, etc. All of that is lovely, we just want to be at Clear Creek more than any of those options! So for our go-to family vacation aside from traveling to visit extended family, the monastery is it. Our aim is also to make use of the peace and atmosphere of the monastery to focus on specific spiritual goals each visit, having that immersion you would get from a structured retreat, just more of a DIY and laid back version centered around attending Liturgy. That’s our “why” for the family retreat - now for your “what” and “how!”
When you visit Clear Creek Abbey as a family, you simply email through the contact link on the website to discuss availability and make plans with Father Guestmaster. You can peek at the details for visiting, the monk’s schedule, etc right on their website. There are plenty of beds for a family, or two or three families, to stay together at the guesthouse! The monastery requests a $60 per night donation per family.
The priority, I think, for those visiting, is the Liturgy. It’s helpful to know what you can attend and what to expect when planning for children of different ages to go along! First, men and boys who are staying with the monks have the ability to attend non-public Divine Office (Matins, Lauds, and Compline), eat with the monks for meals, and work alongside them during their work periods. This is different for whole families attending, naturally! The public Liturgy begins with the Conventual Low Mass, the masses offered simultaneously, after Matins and Lauds. The Masses often begin around 6:45, but it changes daily based on when the morning Office ends; the week you attend, there will be a schedule published. In our experience, the monks are faster at Matins and Lauds than they predict, so aiming to be in the Crypt by 6:30am is ideal! Public access Divine Office begins with 8:00am Prime, followed by 10:00am Terce and High Mass. Sext, None, and Vespers follow, later in the afternoon (12:50pm , 2:35pm, 6:00pm). Lay men, women, and children are welcome to attend any of the above Public Divine Office, Low Mass, and High Mass! For our family, I am the early riser - we plan for me to attend the Low Mass alone, stay to read and pray, attend Prime, and return to the cabin to help finish getting the children ready for Terce and High Mass. As a family we attend Terce and High Mass, and then my husband chooses which of the other Liturgy hours he’ll attend. Another opportunity the visiting family has is to work alongside the monks and caretakers, during the work hours. For men and boys, letting Father Guestmaster know on which days of your visit you’d like to help the monks with will allow him to plan for work time during your stay. For women and girls, the caretaker of the Bethany House can be called or emailed; she is able to plan for work opportunities for just mom, mother and girls, the whole family, etc. While at Clear Creek, you are unplugged by choice and by necessity - the service is weak, accessible in a few places; and the request of the monks is that you do not use media/technology while staying in the guesthouse. This allows for a lovely, peaceful break from our worldiness…space for playing outside, walks, reading, puzzles…all of those things that too often get rushed right off our lists when we are home.
Above, Clear Creek after morning Low Masses and Prime, with the dew and mist starting to clear. Click through for a peek at the Abbey!
One of the most common requests for learning more about visiting as a family was centered around understanding what the guesthouse and overall experience there would be like. Benedictine hospitality means that you are about as covered as you could possibly be while staying there - you just need to bring your own food to prepare meals in the kitchen! We meal plan by the week anyway, so we simply brought those things along for four days of meals plus travel snacks. If you click through the above gallery of images, you can get a pretty good idea of what the guesthouse will be like - perfectly welcoming, charming, and cozy. Upon leaving, you will do the housekeeping to prepare the guesthouse for the next family. We brought lots of books, play dough, a puzzle, and a few games, as well as our food, clothing, and toiletries - things you’d bring on a week away anywhere!
Our children absolutely LOVE Clear Creek. The Liturgy is the highlight, and the rest is simply lovely as well. Our spring 2020 trip included lots visits to the livestock, walks and creek trips, puzzles and fort building, lots of devotional candle lighting, a little bit of gardening at The Bethany House. And as you can imagine, we are counting down the months till we go back. ;-)
If there’s a question I missed, feel free to reach out through the contact button or on Instagram @littlelightfamily!